New World Odor

by Barling Collins (B.C.)

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    Immediate download of 18-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire. With full album purchase you get giant jpgs of the four panel cd cover which are, needless to say, ridiculously cool. Or at least mildly distracting for sometimes seconds on end.
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1.
(free) 01:52
I don't need no penis cream I don't need no penis cream Ten e-mails for penis cream No, twelve e-mails for penis cream I don't need to mortgage my home I don't even own my home Can't afford to rent my home Ten e-mails to mortgage my home I don't need no cheap prescriptions These for real? They look suspicious Drugs to cure my pill addictions Ten e-mails for cheap prescriptions I don't need no bigger dick It's like my arm but twice as thick I don't need no bigger dick Ten e-mails for a bigger dick I don't open foreign e-mails Messages from horny females Advertising dvd sales I don't open foreign e-mails
2.
My friend's gal is pretty strange She got a funny idea 'bout playin' games She dress up like a ragdoll and heads downtown Where a bunch of fierce women be hangin' 'round Well you know she's come to do you harm She's gonna grab your sister by the arm And wrestle Yeah wrestle There ain't much to do in this old town For a broke tooth girl dressed like a clown But for a few CLAWBUCKS and a PBR She's gonna be an arm wrestling superstar Well, the ref says she'll need more than luck So I bought his ass off with a stack of CLAWBUCKS Now wrestle Yeah wrestle There ain't much a rational man won't do For a strong-arm gal in a tight cat suit And a purple-haired demon on a motorbike Make a weak-armed lover come home at night Let the losers lose and the winners win Cuz I blew all my cash on Tragedy Ann Now wrestle Yeah wrestle
3.
Pissed-off shit and tits I'm tired of thinkin' 'bout it pissed-off shit and tits been chompin' at the bit 'bout pissed-off shit pissed-off shit and tits Pissed-off shit and tits I'm tired of worryin' 'bout it pissed-off shit and tits been chompin at the bit 'bout pissed-off shit pissed-off shit and tits I been down so long I'm tired of thinkin' 'bout it down so long I'm tired of singin' 'bout the same old song I'm tired of worryin' 'bout it
4.
Used to be there were cats on the bed Then there weren't any cats on the bed She demanded there be cats on the bed Now there's cats on the bed She said she didn't even really much like cats other people's dogs might as well be rats "Keep 'em with your children, they're just filthy brats, yeah" That's what she said Used to be there were cats on the bed Then there weren't any cats on the bed She demanded there be cats on the bed Now there's cats on the bed She said the workin' people got a good dream that close resembles that of one good lean cat "Keep on petting me and I'll be right back" That's what she said Used to be there were cats on the bed Then there weren't any cats on the bed She demanded there be cats on the bed Now there's cats on the bed She said "you gotta follow on what's wrong right yesterday, tomorrow, maybe tonight. Yes, forever and infernally finite" That's what she said Used to be there were cats on the bed Then there weren't any cats on the bed She demanded there be cats on the bed Now there's cats on the bed Ain't nothin' special 'bout what's up on the bed 'cept what you make it happen in your old head "And if it's cozy, how can it be wicked?" That's what she said Used to be there were cats on the bed Then there weren't any cats on the bed She demanded there be cats on the bed Now there's cats on the bed
5.
She used to go to his house and stay out all night Drinking Skyy Vodka and doing lotsa cocaine I always wondered why I never got invited But now I know While I was back at home caressing my computer They're solving mysteries, exposing famous spies, yeah Involved in international intrigue and finance Stopping crime I'm kinda jealous of you You and your rockstar friends You seem so happy and cool You and your rockstar friends I'll watch your hideout for you You and your rockstar friends Now I remember how she used to seemed athletic Receiving phone calls in the night from secret strangers She said her diaghragm had magic super powers That could kill And then one night I found a hidden piece of paper That said "meet me in Trafalgar Square at sundown I'll wear a carnation and you wear next to nothing We'll do lunch." I followed her to his house and waited outside For several hours then I peeked into the window There she was naked and tied up on the bed so I burst in "I've come to save you" I said as I untied her She looked real nervous like someone was behind me I spun around and gave the finger to the villain He got his.
6.
03:50
Fifteen Nickels in the fountain Fatima's eye up on the sill No it ain't no lonely mountain It's just an ornery hill Four out of five still recommend it Shake like Shiva spinning free And dance on air in time suspended Like it's your destiny Take the boxcars down to that sacred mound where the drummers pound and the people shimmy No whammies All alone and unprotected Sixteen saviors on the hill With Krishna's chords now resurrected Much to the maidens' thrill Hand in hand all come together Eye to eye all state their will And bye and bye all reach their measure Unto Fatima's fill Take the boxcars down to that sacred mound where the drummers pound and the people shimmer Like Barney Miller Moneychangers in the temple Jehovah's eye now roamin' free The loudest prayer ain't always simple Or in harmony So thank the world we're all together And praise the world we're all the same With our universal center We play the planet's game Take the boxcars down to that sacred mound where the drummers pound and the people shimmer We got a winner
7.
02:32
Go to sleep in the morning Wake up well past noon You stick around here long enough You'll be howling like a loon Feel free to go double-fisted But try to pull your own weight 'Cuz when the sun comes up We all go down I'll meet you at the gate Now don't be late Try to change your own diaper Try not to make us all frown 'Cuz if there's ever a problem We'll either back you up or shut you down Don't try to play all familiar If you ain't never been home I could take you back To my old shack And teach you 'bout the stone You're better off alone Ain't no rules of engagement Ain't no protocol An anarchical community With icicles on its balls Feel free to warm up the cousins But don't expect too much bait 'Cuz when the love comes up We all go down And you might meet your fate Wouldn't that be great?
8.
If I sit on the sofa for a couple more years spend all my money on porno and beers I know you'd still like me, but what would you say would you still find me sexually attractive? Would you still find me sexually attractive if I gained fifty pounds, fired off a few rounds from the armchair of life I'd call you my wife if you still found me sexually attractive If I stopped taking showers and combing my hair left empty bottles of filth everywhere made up religions and called myself God would you still find me sexually attractive? Would you still find me sexually attractive If I dressed all in furs and used racial slurs? At the point of a knife, I'd call you my wife if you still found me sexually attractive If I stopped smoking reefer and combin' my hair stuck "Pave The Rainforest" on the back of my car started listening to Rush Limbaugh and believing that crap would you still find me sexually attractive? Would you still find me sexually attractive If I sat on my tush and voted for Bush a Republican life but I'd call you my wife if you still found me sexually attractive If you still found me sexually attractive
9.
04:00
As I fall in love with you Tell me lies but make 'em true I've got all that I can handle to believe If a fool could melt your heart Find out just wherefore you art Well, there ain't no bigger joker in the mall So come on lay me down once again We been singin' 'bout those stories, talkin' 'bout those songs Come on, lay me down I'll be bringing you those roses in the dawn Like a poem you'd be true And I'd always come for you Though my armor ain't so shiny when you're gone So come here beside me lay Let the hours slip away And may morning's sweet surrender fill the song
10.
Musician so stupid Musician so stupid We should know - we're musicians Play around in bars Never make any money Promise lots of sexy girls But we never get any Sexy girls so stupid Sexy girls so stupid We should know - we're musicians Get a tattoo on your back It's not sexy but whatever Smoke too many cigarettes And your boyfriend is an asshole Smoking so stupid Smoking so stupid We should know - we're musicians Smell like an ashtray all the time And your fingers turning orange If the cigarettes run out Find a restaurant and forage Restaurant workers so stupid Restaurant workers so stupid We should know - we're musicians Work for $2.13 an hour Serving jerks who never tip you Then you get to clean the toilets At least you're not a musician Musician so stupid...
11.
02:18
I wanna be Vice President Don't fuck with me I own the government And I might shoot you in the face or throw away the key feed the world the rotten candy of my dreams I wanna be Arch criminal Rule land and sea but all subliminal And I might shoot you in the face or throw away the key feed the world the rotten candy of my dreams I wanna be Chief frickin' pimp But liberty makes Dick all limp And I might shoot you in the face or throw away the key feed the world the rotten candy of my dreams I wanna be King fuckin' Kong My pedigree would be eight feet long And I might shoot you in the face or throw away the key feed the world the rotten candy of my dreams
12.
Cocksucker motherfucker you make me laugh the way you stutter with all the twisted shit you utter Cocksucker motherfucker You stupid hole you make me throw up most every time that you show up I sometimes wish you would just grow up you stupid hole you make me throw up
13.
Larry's meeting Mary at the Aberdeen Barn but she's so smokin' when he gets there that he's mildly alarmed and his trouser fabric tightens as she grinds on his hip 'cuz he knows what Mary's thinkin' when she's bitin' her lip "He's got a big red boner (yeah, man!) he's got a big red boner (yeah, man!) he's got a big red boner and he knows just what to do." Larry's got no problems with a case of the clap but he's worried about the vixen squirmin' round on his lap if the matre d' don't like it, she can go suck an egg 'cuz when Mary's tasted chicken, she won't settle for leg. "Excuse me for a minute," Mary suddenly moans, "I think I'm fillin' up on gravy-- what I wants is the bones, if we must discuss this further, meet me out by the car. and I'll forego the appetizer for your nice candy bar." Now Larry's feeling stupid with a blush on his face 'cuz Mary's craving candy and he can't move from his place. and with his lack of circulation and embarassing tent he'd be lucky just to make it to the bathroom unbent. Excuse me Maitre d'ear, I need another beer I'm stepping out to catch my breath-- be back early next year here's a quarter for the water and a twenty for the wait and here's my mother's number just in case I fibrillate.
14.
02:29
She's a snotty little hottie drinking forties on the potty Like a brand new Maserati, it's a party in her body She lacks a sense of recompense and hence some feel she can be quite dense But she always comes through with a trick or two for suspense. And in the morning she will shake a solid dog He was the queen of the trippin' team His velvet scream made the rich folk cream But his lines were rehearsed and his delivery burst at the seam. He'd mop the mess 'til we all confess - I digress - His second best was still anyone's guess But always true like a trigger to the breast And in the morning he will wake a solid dog It's an erudite confession for a dangerous profession Just to teach us all a lesson they stay always effervescent Pick up the clue with an inhale or two catch the scent They keep chasing down the rabbit just as though they have to have it But before they reach to grab it angry wolves come out and nab it Just what they need as the pack recedes from view And in the morning they'll forsake that solid dog Yes in the morning overtake that solid dog Well in the morning they'll remake that solid dog.
15.
NASCAR people rule the world NASCAR people rule the world They get all the pretty girls They keep drinking when they hurl They're so cool, who could blame 'em? NASCAR people rule the world NASCAR people take the cake NASCAR people take the cake They leave wussies in their wake Drive through town and never brake They're so cool, who could blame 'em? NASCAR people take the cake NASCAR people are the best NASCAR people are the best Get that tattooed on your breast I'll get Earnhart on my chest He's so cool, who could blame me? NASCAR people are the best
16.
My heart is open my mind is clear and I don't need directions but if you wonder why I'm still hanging 'round you see it's a funny thing I've got a notion to sail the sea to seek the holy jungle but I could bungle in these woods just as easily Ain't no deeper forest ain't no wrong side of the hill it don't get no better yet you know we always will Ain't no big decision we are right here on the spot ain't no hell to speak of but it sure do get real hot Down in the dungeons of my devotion I met a world who woke so sweet I had to jump up to keep my feet out in the cold again But we can warm up and we can last time and we can heal ourselves today and if the wind just blows our way we'll all be well again Ain't no deeper forest ain't no wrong side of the hill it don't get no better yet you know we always will Ain't no big decision we are right here on the spot ain't no hell to speak of but it sure do get real hot Out in the desert down by the ocean where all the only gather to speak of holy matters most a-peculiarly but on a pin-drop the spell is broken and the only thing to say that all is light and therefore day is only natural Ain't no deeper forest ain't no wrong side of the hill it don't get no better yet you know we always will Ain't no big decision we are right here on the spot ain't no hell to speak of but it sure do get real hot
17.
02:43
It's the end impossible has arrived no use your whinin' planets are disposable so put on your dark shades I'll meet you at the tanning spa now that the sun is dangerous reach out and grab it Oblivion The water's pure --pure bullshit, if you need to know and the air we breathe is mostly asphalt dust so sue your parents for the terrible shit they stuck you in bringin' your sad and sorry waste into this world Oblivion
18.
Until then I'll be a'missin' you Dreamin' of kissin' you And wondering when We'll be a'fallin' in love When I see you again I'll love you when I see you again

about

The second album by obno guitar and cello duo Barling and Collins, New World Odor has it all: old stuff, new stuff, obnoxious stuff, ominous stuff and occasionally, awesome stuff. You decide which stuff is which. Stuff.

credits

released March 26, 2010

Stephen Barling - guitar and vocal
Brandon Collins - cello and vocal

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Barling Collins (B.C.) Charlottesville, Virginia

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