Big Red Boner

from New World Odor by Barling Collins (B.C.)

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

Purchasable with gift card

$1 USD
Buy the Full Digital Album

lyrics

Larry's meeting Mary at the Aberdeen Barn
but she's so smokin' when he gets there that he's mildly alarmed
and his trouser fabric tightens as she grinds on his hip
'cuz he knows what Mary's thinkin' when she's bitin' her lip

"He's got a big red boner (yeah, man!)
he's got a big red boner (yeah, man!)
he's got a big red boner and he knows just what to do."

Larry's got no problems with a case of the clap
but he's worried about the vixen squirmin' round on his lap
if the matre d' don't like it, she can go suck an egg
'cuz when Mary's tasted chicken, she won't settle for leg.

"Excuse me for a minute," Mary suddenly moans,
"I think I'm fillin' up on gravy-- what I wants is the bones,
if we must discuss this further, meet me out by the car.
and I'll forego the appetizer for your nice candy bar."

Now Larry's feeling stupid with a blush on his face
'cuz Mary's craving candy and he can't move from his place.
and with his lack of circulation and embarassing tent
he'd be lucky just to make it to the bathroom unbent.

Excuse me Maitre d'ear, I need another beer
I'm stepping out to catch my breath-- be back early next year
here's a quarter for the water and a twenty for the wait
and here's my mother's number just in case I fibrillate.

credits

from New World Odor, released March 26, 2010

license

about

Barling Collins (B.C.) Charlottesville, Virginia

barlingcollins.com

contact / help

Contact Barling Collins (B.C.)

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Barling Collins (B.C.), you may also like:

Connectivity
by Grace Petrie

Anthemic and hook-laden folk-rock from Grace Petries is full of both good humor and wryly poetic observations on life and love. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 7, 2021
go to album
such bad things happen
by Levi Fuller & the Library

Turbulent indie rock from Levi Fuller & the Library that has the snarl of hardcore and the knotty meter of math rock. Bandcamp New & Notable Nov 13, 2018
go to album
The Room
by Fabiano do Nascimento & Sam Gendel

featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 9, 2024
go to album
Movements
by Natalie Evans

The newest release by the classical artist uses harp, guitar, and field recordings to set the tone of the album. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 3, 2022
go to album
A Place Like Home
by Mr. Alec Bowman_Clarke

The new EP from Scottish songwriter Alec Bowman_Clarke goes deep, setting vulnerable lyrics to gentle melodies & stripped-back arrangements. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 30, 2021
go to album
Isasa
by Isasa

Isasa makes contemplative and emotionally rich fingerstyle guitar in the mode of John Fahey and Jack Rose. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 11, 2021
go to album
Tales that drift and whisper
by Along the Wind

Soft and soothing acoustic compositions from this Italian guitarist with melodies that flutter like leaves on a breeze. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 1, 2021
go to album