Puberty And Justice For All

by Barling Collins (B.C.)

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1.
03:42
What it was You isn't what I am But I don't give a damn You can take the highway. How you do? My mind's made up for certain I hate to see you hurtin' But I don't mind the view. Go to hell Miles of lillies strewn between us Make a carpet of our dunes Take the hill and I'll surrender Go to hell Fish in pockets full of treason Bake the goddess in a kiln Weave a basket from her hair And go to hell Sho' you right It doesn't mean a thing It really never did And we'll just go on bluffing But you know If you fix it in your mind And think of it most kind You might deeply feel the nonsense Go to hell.....
2.
Uncle Jerry's Nasty Granny got a tattoo on her fanny "Motorcycle Disco Maven" --gets her more of what she's cravin' Finds herself a cheap Madonna Takes her home and mounts her 'pon a pedestal of ice and silver and all the crumbcake she could pilfer takes you... over and over again, too... over and over again Went down to the local dairy to buy a quart of something scary pasteurized or else just blinding not satisfied with what she's finding homogenous extra milk fat sparsely laid out by the churn vat toe-to-toe the carton vendor softly curses Hell to send her takes you... over and over again, true.... over and over again Seems at times there's nothing better than to wipe your mustache on your sweater get your fill and quench your motor bounce the check for what you owed her ignore the date stamp, sign the ledger promise love for all you pledge her then again perhaps it's truer to leave undone the ways you do her takes you... over and over again, too... over and over again, true? over and over again
3.
You ain't nothin' but a demon in spurs you ain't nothin' but a traitor in furs and you ain't Joe Namath and you ain't no saint caught you sneakin' around mixin' blood in the paint... And that's the whole enchilada Yeah, the whole enchilada satan Well I heard ol' Moses had balls made of lead but he still let that burning bush go to his head because learning Sanskrit, Latin, Aramaic's a bore and there ain't nobody speaking tongues no more... And that's the whole enchilada Yeah, the whole enchilada
4.
if I smashed your face in with a crobar and watched your brains and teeth spill on the floor it wouldn't be enough to make up for all the bad days and suicidal mornings 'cuz you let me down jackal of love you let me down jackal of love I'd like to see you eaten by a gator or maybe one could just chew off your leg we could watch your blood flow down the swampy Swanee River with no one left to beg 'cuz you let me down jackal of love you let me down jackal of love I hope they pull you over with a kilo in the trunk and take you off to prison for a while just think of me when the twisted motherfuckers come to do you again you'd never make the trial and I'd just have to smile 'cuz you let me down jackal of love you let me down jackal of love
5.
She's giving me the eye He hasn't got a clue She thinks she's pretty fly I think that she is too That's right, I'm looking at your girlfriend That's right, she's looking at me too That's right, I'm looking at your girlfriend and I think she's kinda hot for me... I see you walking by You've got her by the arm But when I hear her sigh It sets off my alarm That's right... I see you walking by You think you're pretty cool but you make me want to cry she makes me want to drool That's right...
6.
02:40
Sometimes, looking down on South Street seems fine, danglin' out the old meat those vinyl gloves must feel just so sweet close to the light, waxing the candle to the soft beat At one time, used to rooty-toot it though half-blind, you found you could reroute it it still shines, ain't no one can refute it run it up the flagpole and let's see who will salute it again It's in the name of the Lord tell me the name of the band if the harmonica bores you, don't tell Sid so we can be together again
7.
02:29
How come you always smell like peanuts? Like Barnum in your red pajamas It's the only way to go And I won't always fake surrender but ruminate in strange expressions makes me feel more like a prince Marcus Garvey Al Capone greater lovers never known and I'd relive you and I still may breath for whistling oh shiftless day Better things ahead for certain but ascertaining that's a bitch it's this plentiful abandon you might be the fourth ascendant a matriarch on microbrews or a changling in the mud Marcus Welby Vic Damone ass to elbow grinding stone and I'd forgive you and I still may breath for whistling oh shiftless day mama tell me when to coast my antennae goalie host
8.
I want whatever you want whatever you want whatever you want I'm gonna get you a hundred pound box of rain oh, I'm gonna get you a hundred pound box of rain oh, I want whatever you want... I'm gonna get you a thousand mile line of beads oh, I'm gonna get you a thousand mile line of beads oh, I want whatever you want... I'm gonna love you and never let you go oh, I'm gonna love you and never let you go oh, I'm gonna get you and let you run away oh, I'm gonna get you and let you run away away eeeyay eeeyay eeeyay... I want whatever you want whatever you are whatever you're on oh, I'm gonna get you a hundred pound box of rain oh, I'm gonna get you a thousand mile line of beads oh, I'm gonna get you a million ton block of cheese oh, I'm gonna get you a store full of groceries oh, I'm gonna get you a twenty-one gun salute I'm gonna get you a twenty-one gun salute yes, I'm gonna get you a twenty-one gun salute I'm gonna get you a twenty-one gun salute away eeeyay eeeyay eeeyay...
9.
02:57
One finger To hold back the flood Itchy triggers Don't guarantee blood Stick your hand in the crack and let's call for the Coast Guard So eager To trim out the fat That the beavers Provided for that Gave their pelts when the overflow filled past the lake line And although we sing their tune The delight ebony moon May be damned if we do On the lam if we won't Take the kit down with you Maybe build a new fort
10.
I caught Orrin Hatch sneakin round in my ganja patch it was an Iree batch and I want back the buds he snatched You know the GOP they get all their buds for free so why they always got to be messin' with my ganja tree Cry fourth amendment leave me alone please Orrin Hatch stay the hell out of my ganja patch or I'll pull back the latch and leave you with no ass to scratch Trent Lott I wanna smoke the buds he got I'll bet it is some Iree pot some high grade stone cold crusher crop Up on the capitol hill they roll up big blunts and chill and twist up big stacks of bills to huff up all the blow they swill Cry fourth amendment leave me alone please
11.
When time's been a-wastin' and stealin' you blind and the clouds that're gatherin' ain't all in your mind hard whiskey and women made a fool of your soul and there ain't nowhere safe you can roll When the whole world just sucks and you're shit outta luck Just be thankful you're American as fuck oh, be thankful you're American as fuck When your wife up and leaves you on the Jerry Springer Show 'cuz you gave her the finger and you called her a "ho" and your boss up and fires you for showin' up all drunk and you'd be more loved if you was a skunk When the whole world just sucks... Well you can live on hard liquor and sleep in a log and you can go back to night-school but you can't take your dog there ain't nothing much better than nothin' to do 'cept fer maybe a case a cold brew When the whole world just sucks... Aw shit.

about

Fresh off their stint in Atsushi Miura's Dirty Round Eyes, the oddball guitar and cello duo decide to embark on their own long-overdue freshman album. Recorded in the same studio as Miura's "Cheap and Fake," this time by Stu Gilchrist, Puberty catches an overly-relaxed melange of boneheadery and shuddering quirk.

credits

released July 4, 2004

Stephen Barling - guitar and vocal
Brandon Collins - cello and vocal

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Barling Collins (B.C.) Charlottesville, Virginia

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